Lately I've had incidents of my fingernails and toenails turning blue. It's not as if the skin was blue, which would be terrifying, but it was still a little concerning. I brought it up with my rheumatologist the other day and showed him numerous pictures I took of it. After he examined my fingers and toes and felt how cold they are, he gave me a diagnosis: The blue was caused by me standing or sitting up. The treatment? Lie down.
Best treatment ever.
I took this with a grain of salt. Lie down every time? I can't wait to lie down in class, on the train, randomly in stores. It's literally a dream come true.
Doctors really don't get it. They don't listen. Even the best of the best can be dismissive sometimes. I really like my rheumatologist and I've been with him for years, but sometimes he's just a pain in the butt. Did not listen to me explain that it happens when I can't warm my fingers or toes? It's obvious I probably just have a very mild circulation problem- I swear sometimes I don't know why I bother with a doctor: My knowledge and Google are much better and less of a hassle.
I don't know what it's like to be an actual doctor, I just imagine I'm one when I watch House or Doc Martin. I know doctors deal with loads of paperwork and whatnot, but still... It's a bit silly to give your patient a half thought of diagnosis just to explain something. I can see the little man behind the curtain- Doctors aren't superior beings. They're humans who don't contain the answers for everything. If they don't know something, I think it's better when they admit it rather than giving a stupid diagnosis or claiming nothing is wrong at all.
I'm not asking for cures. I'm not asking for a life changing diagnosis- anything but another one of those. I'm not even asking to know why everything happens. All I ask is honesty. It's okay with me that you can't cure me. It's okay that you don't know how I got to this point in my health. It's even okay that you don't have a name for something going on. Just understand and believe me. Let me be able to trust you. Try to help me in anyway you can.
Just don't brush me off.