Monday, 24 March 2014

Blue Fingers from Standing

Lately I've had incidents of my fingernails and toenails turning blue. It's not as if the skin was blue, which would be terrifying, but it was still a little concerning. I brought it up with my rheumatologist the other day and showed him numerous pictures I took of it. After he examined my fingers and toes and felt how cold they are, he gave me a diagnosis: The blue was caused by me standing or sitting up. The treatment? Lie down.

Best treatment ever.

I took this with a grain of salt. Lie down every time? I can't wait to lie down in class, on the train, randomly in stores. It's literally a dream come true.

Doctors really don't get it. They don't listen. Even the best of the best can be dismissive sometimes. I really like my rheumatologist and I've been with him for years, but sometimes he's just a pain in the butt. Did not listen to me explain that it happens when I can't warm my fingers or toes? It's obvious I probably just have a very mild circulation problem- I swear sometimes I don't know why I bother with a doctor: My knowledge and Google are much better and less of a hassle.

I don't know what it's like to be an actual doctor, I just imagine I'm one when I watch House or Doc Martin. I know doctors deal with loads of paperwork and whatnot, but still... It's a bit silly to give your patient a half thought of diagnosis just to explain something. I can see the little man behind the curtain- Doctors aren't superior beings. They're humans who don't contain the answers for everything. If they don't know something, I think it's better when they admit it rather than giving a stupid diagnosis or claiming nothing is wrong at all.

I'm not asking for cures. I'm not asking for a life changing diagnosis- anything but another one of those. I'm not even asking to know why everything happens. All I ask is honesty. It's okay with me that you can't cure me. It's okay that you don't know how I got to this point in my health. It's even okay that you don't have a name for something going on. Just understand and believe me. Let me be able to trust you. Try to help me in anyway you can.

Just don't brush me off.

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