Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Borrowed Spoons

"I hate chronic fatigue so much. It's so hard to handle and work through."

"I get tired sometimes too."

I wish it was just feeling tired. I can deal with that. A twenty minute nap can help. A cup of coffee can help. But chronic fatige just doesn't. It hang around like a little black rain cloud. Sometimes it's little and seems to disappear. Other times you're trapped and can't get away. And if the physical side effects weren't so bad, sometimes people just assume you're really lazy. I hate that. So much.

Sometimes I think the worst part of having psoriatic arthritis is that even if I'm not too sore or stiff to do something, I have too much fatigue to do it. Things suffer when you can't get up and do things. Work. School. Friends. Family. But most importantly, you.

The Spoon Theory is a way of explaining chronic illness and fatigue to someone, and it's the best way I know how to explain it. I highly recommend reading it if you haven't. I've been having a horrible time recently with fatigue- for a month and a half I've been fighting really hard to push through. But I'm working on borrowed energy (or spoons), and I have for weeks. It's hard to live like that and it's downright exhausting.

But something did help. My mum bought blue arthritis awareness bracelets. She got a rubber blue one for my dad, and a clasp blue one for herself and one of my best friends with a ribbon charm. And for me, I got the same one as them. Except mine has two tiny spoons on it, so I always have extras. I've worn mine everyday since I got it. It really does help. Even though a bracelet isn't a cure, I think it's one of the best medicines I've been given.

You can do lots of things to try and help. Healthy eating, exercise, reduce stress, rest and all that good stuff. Honestly, who has the time or the energy for that? My advice: Don't stop doing what you love and surround yourself with those you love. I think that helps a lot.

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