Confession: I forget what it's like to not have to be see so often.
My record for the longest time without a rheumatology appointment is three months, but that has on
only happened a handful of times. Mostly I go every month or two, depending on my progress. I honestly can't imagine life without frequent hospital visits. And I don't think that's a bad thing either.
When we repeatedly do things that are typically unnatural and cause for alarm, eventually they become nature. A habit even. Whilst others consider going to the hospital quite a lot a bad thing, I began to see it as a good thing: It's an essential part in treatment of arthritis, and treatment is a good thing. I'm not ashamed that I need to be seen so often- my body is different from everyone's and it just requires extra care. And there are people who are seen more often than that, and that's okay too. Taking care of ourselves is a very good thing. Everyone cares for theirselves in different ways. I just wish everyone understood. A lot of the time my family are upset to hear that "yes, I still have to go," and "yes, I'm still taking the medicine," despite adding "but I'm getting better." And after the seven billionth time, the same reaction is quite boring.
But I know it's not so much going that is the bad part. It's after. After hearing bad news. Being sent for yet another test. And worse, not being taken seriously. Sometimes it's not having to go, it's having to deal with the aftermath. Occasionally it's a mix of good and bad that can leave you confused. It's more confusing than your doctor's penmanship.